Par-KAY

Lacy says: I just got a little box from my MSN messenger that said: “You have received a message from Parkay.”
And all I could think of was the little talking butter dishes.
PARKAY!

Allison Says: When we were in second or third grade Tori and I would carry on entire conversations as the talking butter tubs. The only word we said was “Parkay”
We cracked each other up and pretty much annoyed everyone else around us.

Lacy Says:The really funny part about this story is that it actually was a message from Parkay – as in, the butter people.
How on god’s green earth did I get on a mailing list for Parkay?? I don’t even BUY IT!!

Allison Says: That’s creepy.
I never trusted those talking butter tubs…

NaNo WriMo

I've been hearing about this thing in the fan fic community called NaNo WriMo -- it's a challenge for people to write 50,000 words of a novel between midnight on November 1st and 11:59pm on November 30th. You don't win anything or get your story published or anything like that, it's just a reason to put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard and let go of the fear; don't reread, don't rewrite, just plough forward, ever forward.

Writing can be a terrifying process. If you're writing something that you ever intend to let anyone else read, writing can be as nerve wracking as public speaking, as soul-baring as acting, as emotional as singing. Writing is not for the faint of heart. And you cannot do it simply to please an audience -- at least, not well.

I was looking at the web site of one of my favorite fan fic authors, who is also currently my personal hero, and he said that he doesn't write to be read. He writes because there is nothing else for him to do; it isn't a choice, it's a calling. He says:

"If I were locked in solitary confinement for years on end with paper and pens enough to last me, I'd probably be all right. Unhappy, but sane. If I had no books and nothing with which to write, I imagine I'd end up sitting in my little cell telling stories to the walls. It's not that I require an audience so much as I have to put the thoughts somewhere -- I don't care if anyone ever reads them, so long as they're there."

That's the kind of freedom I wish I had with my writing. That's who I was at three years old, in the photograph my mother gave me. I am sitting on our front porch at the old house wearing an old Halloween costume over my regular clothes, with purple shoes on, my bear clutched in one hand, a short stick in the other, singing to myself and narrating little stories in which I was always the protagonist. I never needed an audience back then. I was my own audience; I contained whole worlds of people and places and things in my head, and my imagination was limitless and effortless and free.

Somewhere along the way, I lost that freedom that comes from not needing anyone's approval but your own. Now I find myself lost in worry that something I've written isn't good enough, isn't spectacular enough, isn't original enough or engaging enough or flashy enough. Enough for what? For whom? Even my own private journal that I write in by hand that no one but me is ever allowed to see, I sometimes censor because it isn't "good" enough. Why? Shouldn't my own thoughts be good enough for me?

I think that's why the NaNo WriMo concept intrigued me. Could I do it? Could I churn out 50,000 words and if they were crap, let them be crap? I'm not sure. I'm constantly rewriting. Revising. Even this blog will be reread and revised. My current "novel writing schedule" is to write and write and write, whenever I can, but to take one chapter per week, and spend the whole week -- in between the new writing and "real" life -- to edit and revise it. I send it to my beta reader and my brit-picker and they edit it and send it back and I look it over and make changes and send it to them again. I try to get it to a point that I'm happy with it by the end of the week so that I can publish it on the fan fic websites on Friday, in time for the onslaught of weekend readers. Because I'm vain and I like the praise. =)

That seems to work well for me, but I'm not sure I could move forward with the writing without going back to reread and revise. When I get stuck, I go back and read what I've written before. And when I read what I've written before, I inevitably change it.

Now I'm going to go post this without rereading. Ok, well, I'm not sure I can do that... Maybe I'll reread it and just not make any changes. I'm not sure I can do that, either... =)

Character Group Therapy

VITAL STATS:

[B]Name:[/B]

[B]Where was your character born?[/B]

[B]What age will your character be during your story? [/B]

[b]How old does s/he appear?[/b]

[B]Appearance?[/B]

[B]So is your character a pureblood, mixedblood, muggleborn, muggle, squib
or whatever? [/B]

[B]Who are your character's parents and siblings? What's his/her
relationship with them like? [/B]

[B]Is your character in a relationship? [/B]

[B]What is his/her strongest subject in school? Weakest?[/B]

[B]Does your character have any pets?[/B]

[B]What is your character wearing?[/B]

[B]Favorite food/color/swearword? (just for fun )[/B]
Food:
Color:
Swear:

[B]Favorite kind of music?[/B]
[B]Favorite things to do?[/B]
[b]Optimistic or pessimistic?[/b]
[b]Shy or bold?[/b]
[b]Extroverted or introverted?[/b]
[b]Practical or dreamer?[/b]
[b]Leader or follower?[/b]
[b]Neat or sloppy?[/b]

PERSONALITY:
[B]What is your character most likely to get their name in the newspaper for
doing?[/B]

[B]What qualities does she value in others? [/B]

[B]How would she get along with the character posted before her? [/B]

[B]What was their top career choice as a child?[/B]

[B]How many times a day on average do they laugh? [/B]

[B]Scenario: Someone who your character would never date approaches him/her
on the street and offers a number, or a motel room. How does your OC react?
Shrug him/her off? With humour? With Murder? [/B]

[b]How does your character act when s/he's angry? Sad? Very happy?[/b]

[b]What makes him/her climb the walls?[/b]

[B]What is the first impression anyone might get, upon meeting your OC? [/B]

[B]What's her/his dirty little secret?[/B]

[B]Who was their idol as a child? [/B]

[B]What are your character's flaws?[/B]

[B]Now name some things your character is good at.[/B]

[B]Give a quote from your character, something that expresses her/his
personality.[/B]

[B]What would/do the trio think of your character and vice versa?[/B]

[B]What has been you character's biggest disappointment in life so far?[/B]

[B]What does your character consider their biggest achievement in life?[/B]

[B]What does your character deem to be the most important part of their
daily routine?[/B]

[B]Does your character believe in the existence of one true soulmate for
every person?[/B]

[B]A museum is burning and there is only time time to save one thing: an old
woman or a Rembrant. Which does your character chose?[/B]

[B]What is you characters favourite season? Why? [/B]

[B]What do they feel guilty about doing?[/B]

[B]If they looked into the Mirror of Erised what would they see?[/B]

[B]What is his/her worst memory (dementor)? [/B]

[B]Where would they most like to go on holiday?[/B]

[B]Who is their ideal partner?[/B]

[B]Which famous person would they have a poster of on their wall?[/B]

[B]What is the number one thing they complain about?[/B]

[B]What would make them smile on a bad day?[/B]

[B]What one thing would they change about their appearance/personality?[/B]

[B]What would your character think about, trying to perform the patronus
charm? [/B]

[B]Would s/he be more likely to appear in a slash romance or a het romance
fic? [/B]

[B]How much magical skill does your character have -- more like Neville or
Dumbledore? [/B]

[B]What would your character die for? [/B]

[B]If your character would lie on the stand, would (s)he incriminate an
innocent stranger to save his/her guilty mother/father? [/B]

[B]What makes your character lose sleep at night?[/B]

[B]Your character can change one aspect of his or past. What does (s)he
chose?[/B]

[B]If your character died at this moment of development, would (s)he linger
as a ghost or move on? [/B]

PLOT/CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT:

[B]What is your character's Super Motive? What drives them more than
anything else?[/B]

[B]What is the point of your character in this story? After all, it's
useless to introduce an OC unless they have a purpose. What role are they
going to play? What are they going to do?[/B]

[B]What keeps your character from being a Mary/Gary S(t)ue? What do you
worry might be Sue-ish about your character?[/B]

dancing to the music in my head

I woke up this morning with the first verse and refrain of this song stuck in my head, and those are the only words I knew, so, out of desperation, I went and looked them up. And now I have even less of a clear idea of what this song is about. Any ideas?

I pulled into Nazareth, was feelin' 'bout half past dead
I just need some place where I can lay my head
"Hey, mister, can you tell me where a man might find a bed?"
He just grinned and shook my hand, and "No" was all he said

Take a load off Fanny
Take a load for free
Take a load off Fanny
And (and) (and) you can put the load right on me

Picked up my bag, went lookin' for a place to hide
When I saw Carmen and the Devil walkin' side by side
I said, "Hey, Carmen, come on, let's go downtown"
She said, "I gotta go, but m'friend can stick around"

Take a load off Fanny
Take a load for free
Take a load off Fanny
And (and) (and) you can put the load right on me

Go down, Miss Moses, there's nothin' you can say
It's just old Luke, and Luke's waitin' on the Judgement Day
"Well Luke, my friend, what about young Anna Lee?"
He said, "Do me a favour, son, won't you stay an' keep Anna Lee company?"

Take a load off Fanny
Take a load for free
Take a load off Fanny
And (and) (and) you can put the load right on me

Crazy Chester followed me, and he caught me in the fog
He said, "I will fix your rack, if you'll take Jack, my dog"
I said, "Wait a minute, Chester, I'm a peaceful man"
He said, "That's OK, just feed him when you can"

Take a load off Fanny
Take a load for free
Take a load off Fanny
And (and) (and) you can put the load right on me

Catch a cannon ball now, to take me down the line
My bag is sinking low and I do believe it's time
To get back to Miss Fanny, you know she's the only one
Who sent me here with her regards for everyone

Take a load off Fanny
Take a load for free
Take a load off Fanny
And (and) (and) you can put the load right on me

Random Blog thoughts

So, I'm making an effort to blog more often. I think it's a good way to keep my writing skills honed and sharp for things other than Harry Potter. But who am I kidding? Harry Potter constitutes ALL of my writing life lately.

I had an odd dream this morning. I was in a department store looking at purses, and I found a cute purse that was on sale for $8. I opened it up and looked inside, and there was a really expensive Kate Spade wallet inside of the purse! It was obviously somebody's wallet, but there wasn't any money or credit cards or anything in it. So, I took the purse to the counter, and as I was paying for it, I was praying that the clerk wouldn't look inside so that I could get out with the wallet, and she didn't! So I was all excited because I somehow got a really expensive wallet with an $8 purse.

I feel a little disturbed about this, looking back on it. It doesn't really say a lot for my honesty, does it? But come on, a Kate Spade is a Kate Spade.

I actually just recently decided that I really want a Kate Spade purse, but they are expensive and not normally something I could ever convince myself to buy. So, I've started a Kate Spade reward fund: for every pound I lose towards my goal (which is about 10 pounds away) I'm putting $10 into my Kate Spade Reward Fund. When I reach my goal, I'll be more than half way to buying the purse, and I can go buy it guilt free and feelin' fine and have a groovy new purse to go with my groovy new self. How cool is that? They're always telling us not to reward ourselves with food, and I think this is a good step in the right direction.

On a completely different topic, I've decided that I want to write children's novels for a living. Have I already said this? I don't think so. Anyway, it just sort of occurred to me and now I'm trying it on for size. I mean, can anyone think of a cooler job to have? When I was telling my Dad about my decision this weekend, he said that now all I needed was to meet someone who could be my illustrator. I said, "Wow, that's exactly what I was thinking -- want the job?" He laughed it off, but I was totally serious. How cool would that be -- we'd be a father daughter team! Anyway, I tried to get him to agree to illustrate my Harry Potter story for practice (see? I knew I'd get back to Harry Potter here somewhere...) but he just kind of laughed. I'm totally serious though, and if you see my dad, I think you should tell him that it would be a good idea. =) (Just covering all my bases here...)

It's cool and dreary and grey here today, which would be OK with me if it would only rain. But I think it's rained all of twice since I've been here (more than a year now, folks) so I'm not holding my breath.

how's this for an opening paragraph?

They were still going, that much was certain; they had all put too much time, preparation and effort into it and used up too many pleading looks and desperate single tears between them to let a little inclement weather, a tag-along sibling, or a no-show ruin their plans. Michael was about to say as much when something strange caught his attention through the fog that lay like a damp grey sweater across the bay. There it was again: a green light, flickering dimly through the earthbound clouds. He watched it for a moment, and then it was gone.

So, a week or so ago, Allison challenged me to make a list of 101 things that make me happy. I accepted the challenge, thinking that 101 things is a heck of a lot of things, but I was wrong. I discovered that coming up with 101 things that make me happy was a relatively easy task, and I could have gone on for quite a while longer before being really stumpped for more things.

So, the next time you're feeling kinda crummy, I challenge you to make a list of 101 things that make you happy, and if you're not smiling at the end, you didn't do it right.

=)

P.S. To read Allison's list, follow the link to her new blog in the menu on the left!

101 Things to be Happy About

1. Brandon
2. Cleo
3. Harry Potter
4. Getting a new review.
5. British slang
6. waffles
7. writing a new chapter
8. chocolate
9. kisses
10. hugs
11. smiles
12. holding hands
13. a clean kitchen stocked with good food
14. fresh herbs
15. calla lilies
16. a new book
17. an old favorite book
18. Blake's Seven
19. Mom's chili con queso with fritos
20. Santa Fe
21. farolitos in the snow
22. green chile
23. the barracks at CSF
24. instant messages
25. getting pictures back from the photo place
26. unexpectedly finding a good song on the radio
27. finding out that I've made someone happy with something I've written
28. my Dad's laugh
29. the thought of Brandon and Emily dancing to "Pretty fly for a White Guy" at our wedding
30. thinking about our wedding
31. my engagement ring
32. my Harry Potter coffee mug
33. buying new pens
34. a blank notebook
35. a new pack of crayons
36. singing
37. baking cookies
38. eating cookies
39. Allison
40. Anne
41. good memories of childhood
42. pickled okra
43. hot chocolate
44. root beer floats
45. chocolate malts
46. cherry limeade
47. using the word "loo" in a sentence
48. remembering the time sophomore year in college when I was walking across the quad and Aaron Andzik screamed "WHO LET THE BOGGS OUT!" and when he caught up to me I said, "You've been waiting to say that all summer, haven't you?" And he said, "Yeah!"
49. College graduation
50. cake
51. rolling down the all the windows in the car when a good song is on and unabashedly singing at the top of my lungs
52. having my passenger join in
53. a long chat with a friend about nothing
54. a call from Charlie
55. Friday nights with Anne in Santa Fe when we would cook food and watch movies and get tipsy together
56. Anne's frito pie
57. hearing Brandon bust out singing to a song on the radio
58. baths
59. Gilmore Girls -- especially Luke and Lorelei
60. the phrase "fro-yo"
61. farmers' markets
62. the smell of lavender
63. getting a letter in the mail
64. a horoscope that comes true
65. remembering weird dreams and writing them down
66. going to the bookstore with Brandon to look at magazines
67. weekends
68. my floppy straw beach hat
69. having a beach nearby on which I can wear my floppy straw beach hat
70. when Brandon wants to talk about what our first house will be like
71. when Brandon shops for leather couches to go in his study in the house we will eventually have
72. Crate and Barrel
73. listening to "the Fabulous Frankie at Five" on the indie rock station (they play a Frank Sinatra song every day at 5 pm)
74. learning a new word; today's word: erumpent -- Bursting through or as if through a surface or covering.
75. semi-colons and long dashes
76. getting praise for something I've written from another writer whom I admire
77. discovering a new series of books I can't wait to read
78. getting a call from my sister
79. listening to my dad and my sister crack each other up with the word "poo"
80. going on late night Frosty runs with my sister
81. going on late night Diet Coke runs with Allison
82. the AJ Big Show
83. cool fonts
84. daffodils
85. having my own cubicle at work
86. British slang
87. fan fiction jargon (w00t! Glomp! Schnoogle! Squicky!)
88. SS The Government Stole My Toad
89. bicycles with baskets on the front
90. lilacs
91. rain
92. Ikea
93. ice cream cones
94. the feeling you get right when you get off of an airplane and you know that somewhere nearby someone is waiting to see you
95. jackets, blazers, coats, and cardigans
96. learning to knit
97. any cool kind of yarn
98. the smell of a library or a bookstore
99. shooting stars and ho-hos
100. tea
101. waking up and feeling so comfortable and safe that you just lie still for a while and savor being alive

Last night at choir rehearsal we were going over the service music for the jazz mass we will be doing for our "homecoming Sunday," the first Sunday at which the choir sings after our summer hiatus. We were looking over the Lamb of God (or Agnus Dei for those of you familiar with a more traditional mass) and the conductor pointed out that in the traditional line "Lamb of God you take away the sins of the world," he wanted us to change "sins" to "sin."

He went on to explain that this was not because it is musically easier to sing an "n" sound than an "s" sound at the end of a word, although this is certainly a perk. His reasoning for making the word sin singular had a personal theological basis which he shared with us.

"Sin" he said, is that which separates us from the divine, in whatever form it may take. All too often when we talk about "sins" we are tempted to then begin to innumerate these sins and those sins and the other sins -- all of which they do, but which we of course, do not do. When talking about "sins" it becomes easier and easier to make those "sins" a list of things that we do not understand, that we do not ascribe to, or that we do not agree with. It becomes easier and easier to define cultural differences as "sins" as well.

Yet with a singular "sin" it becomes a personal message, a personal journey over the space which separates you from your personal experience of the divine. It no longer is viable to talk about my sin and your sin as being different from one another, because quintessentially, they are the same: that which removes us from our experience of the divine.

We continued to sing the piece which, although it is a rather non-traditional musical arrangement, is nevertheless a traditional rendering of the Agnus Dei:

Lamb of God you take away the sin of the world.
Lamb of God you take away the sin of the world.
Lamb of God you take away the sin of the world.
Grant us thy peace.

As we sang the last phrase, a contemplative look came over our director’s face. He paused as the last ringing tones echoed in the empty and darkened church.

"You know," he said to us, "I always thought of that last line as the last thing on a laundry list of things we are asking for; 'take away the sin of the world, oh and also, grant us thy peace.' But it's not, is it? Peace is that which happens when we remove the sin, when we take away the distance between ourselves and the power of the divine. Peace is the end result. Grant us thy peace."

A latta pilates

Wow. So, more and more I'm starting to believe that the key to sucessful weight loss has less to do with diet and more -- a lot more -- to do with exercise. This is not a concept that has come easily to me because I loathe -- LOATHE -- exercise. It's a reaction that has been ingrained in me since childhood, when my elementary school PE teacher would make us run the mile, which I couldn't do, owing to my asthma, and then line up according to our times. I was always last. Six years of elementary school and I was ALWAYS last. To top that, I have all the "picked last for every team sport" stories too. The thing about me is, if I enjoy a thing, and I'm good at it, I will persue it to its very ends. If I am not good at something and don't enjoy it -- the two go hand in hand -- I will abhor it at all costs. Hence, my extreme distaste for exercise.

Well, my asthma has gotten much less severe since those days, and, with my weight loss journey well under way, I have frequently tried different exercises that might appeal to me. In Santa Fe when I lost the first 40 pounds, I swam at the Genoveva Chavez Community Center. Not very often, mind you, but I did swim, probably an average of once a week, for 30 minutes to an hour. That was a big step for me. I also walked a lot when I was in college; it's just the name of the game when your campus is as tiny as mine was.

Then, more recently, I have tried other things. Over the years I have bought several workout tapes of different styles, and I like all of them... once. OK, once a month is more fair. But I get increasingly bored of them and more and more likely to find excuses not to do them with every repetition. I also tried walking and yes, even jogging. I can tell you that I jogged an entire mile without stopping for the first time in my life this year. That was a HUGE accomplishment for me.

And yet, none of this motivates me to stick with it! Toe the line! Feel the burn! I feel the burn-out more often than not. And this, I have come to realize, is the real reason my weight loss efforts have somewhat stalled. I am 30 pounds lighter than my highest (known) weight, but I've kind of come to a standstill.

So today, I took yet another big step in my life. I went to a Pilates class on my lunch break. I have a Pilates DVD (see above) and so I kind of knew what it was about: it's a series of exercises meant to strengthen your entire body while focusing mainly on your abdomen. It's a little like yoga, but with more moving and less meditating, although breath control is highly stressed. Anyway, I got up the courage to just go today, and it was wonderful. But let me tell you, I am EXHAUSTED. The only reason I can type this is because it only requires the use of my fingers and my brain, neither of which were particularly worked out. If they had been, I would be a vegetable. I went to refill my water bottle at the water cooler just now, and I bent over and put most of my weight on one leg -- and I started shaking. Yeah, that's how exhausted my muscles are. But I don't hurt. Not anywhere. Yeah, parts of me hurt while I was doing it, but now, I feel fine. Just unable to get up out of my chair.

The way this place works is you can either pay by the class for $15 a session, or you can buy a number of classes in advance and then use them any time within 90 days for less. I bought ten classes. Hopefully, I can stick it out at least that long. =)

P.S. This is post number 101 on this blog! Hooray for milestones!! =)