oc bridal expo 2004

So Brandon and I went to a Bridal Expo yesterday on a whim. Don't worry -- you haven't been left out! -- there's nothing formal to announce yet. But I have been given permission to think about the inevitability of said announcement, and thus, we decided to partake of the expo.

All I can say is, if you have never been to a bridal expo, it is an experience unlike any other, and I highly recommend it even if there is nary a nuptial possibility in your future.

As we entered the exhibit hall, I told Brandon to grab one of the Men's Warehouse tote bags from a table near the door. He asked me why. Oh, silly boy. This is something I learned from working at the Texas state fair: if you attend anything with the word "expo" in it, you will need a bag. Possibly several.

Every single booth of approximately 150 had something to hand to us. Every. Single. Booth. And there were booths of every type you can possibly imagine having anything even remotely to do with weddings. One of the first we encountered was called "3D Confetti Effects." This company specialized in exploding cannons of streamers, confetti, and glitter on the large scale, and tiny champagne bottle shaped poppers filled with the same on the small scale. Very entertaining to watch their video presentation.

There were a dozen or more restaurants and hotels hawking their locations as the perfect place for my wedding. Invariably, the first thing they screamed at me over the din was "Have you chosen your reception site yet?" With a timid shake of my head, they would launch into a very well rehearsed shpeel extolling the many virtues of their particular harvest gold/magenta/forest green ball rooms while continuously pressing brochures, price lists, and menus into my hands. One of my favorites was the Knott's Berry Farm Radison lady, who gave her very professional speech dressed in a navy checked gingham dress with matching white lace apron and cap. Apparently her uniform -- I hope.

There were many other kinds of vendors, but my favorite (I admit) were any that were giving out free samples. There were at least two booths with frozen drinks machines, which Brandon promptly defined as "tacky as hell" (especially after discovering that the mini-margarita he had been handed did not contain any alcohol).

There was a very kind cake lady who was handing out samples which were quite good. She had a very impressive cake shaped like a castle. She also told us that she charged about $1.50 a slice for cakes that other people would charge up to $6 a slice for. She said "I tell couples, the cake is there one minute and gone the next. Spend your money on a honeymoon!" I kept her brochure. She was right. There were quite a few other booths handing out cakes, and most of their prices made me worry they would charge me for the sample.

Something I found out very early on is that EVERYONE wants you to register for something. A free honeymoon, a free dinner, a free makeover, a free consultation, a free $5000 shopping spree at Nordstrom (I did sign up for that one) and that the smart bride, the informed bride, the prepared bride brings her own premade address stickers to simply stick to the registration form. Seriously. What I'd like to know, is who tells these girls to do that? How do they know?

There was a fondu fountain at one booth. Literally, a fountain of warm melted chocolate with bowls of marshmallows and pound cake and strawberries and glasses filled with long skewers. Brandon's comment was "That would make such a mess!" I will tell you, watching that molten chocolate, the mess never crossed my mind!

At another booth, an extremely nattily dressed man complete with two-tone shoes, zoot suit, and fedora. He passed me a long stem red rose saying, "We can't let you leave with just a brochure." Tied to the rose were two cards, one for a florist, and one for Mike the Magician. Two guesses who the be-zooted man was.

There was a Rolls Royce available for rental and a life sized, pumpkin shaped carriage completely covered in white lights.

But by far, the largest portion of the booths were either photographers or videographers, or some combination of the two. I picked up a flyer for a photographer whose wedding packages started at $4000. That's 4/5ths of my budget. Another proclaimed that his work had been featured in all the major wedding magazines and I thought of those God-awful wedding gown ads where the woman's hair is teased into an impossibly ugly buffante and she has bright blue eye makeup all around her eyes and glitter covering every other exposed inch of her body. I had an evil moment when I considered getting deep into negotiations with a videographer only to let it slip at a critical moment, say when they're trying to charge me extra for slow motion, that I have a film degree...

The booths featuring bands and DJs were ridiculous and loud. I'm glad I've already decided to forgo the embarrassment of both for homemade mixed CDs.

Overall, it was an enlightening as well as an overwhelming experience. Brandon emerged from the hall blinking in the bright sunlight and looking dazed and bewildered. He admitted that he'd never considered many of the details that go into planning a wedding. I asked if it had scared him off. He just kissed me and then hauled our bulging bag of brochures towards the car. I took that as a no.

So when we got home he started studying for his finals again, and I began pouring over the brochures we had been deluged with. We got cookies and candies, flowers and CDs, DVDs, color brochures, and business cards, but my favorite thing that I got from the expo was something so simple and silly it surprised even me. When we paid to get in, the lady taking the tickets handed me a sticker to wear. It's round and white with a pink heart on it, and it says BRIDE.

=)