danger will robinson -- work blog ahead!

I've gotten so paranoid about blogging about what happens to me at work, but I've decided that it's hardly worth worrying about when a) I don't use real names and b) nothing I write about is at all interesting.

SO!

Lacy's Three Things About Work Today:

1. No one is here today except me.
I am the ONLY member of the IT (or, as the Boss Man likes to call it, "Business Intelligence") department in the office today. This is scary on several levels; if anything really major were to go wrong, I would have NO CLUE how to fix it. The best I could do would be to tell people to take deep breaths and count to ten while I call New York. I would then probably have to go to HR or somewhere to figure out WHO in New York I'm supposed to call and what their number is. Then we would chat and discover that they can't do anything about it because -- wait for it -- they're IN NEW YORK. Then I would probably find The Weirdo's home phone number and call him at home until he answered and came up here to fix it.

2. I have nothing to do.
No. Literally. NOTHING. I have no projects to work on. I had one, but The Weirdo told me not to do it when he isn't here because it has a tendency to freeze up the database, and if that happens, we're back at scenario number one up there. I have a second project I could work on IF the Network Guru had processed my access request before he left yesterday, which he didn't. So yeah. NOTHING.

Seems like a good day to write.

3. We now have candy, sodas, and flavored coffee again.
After the buyout, there was a big hullabaloo about whether or not the new Powers that Be were going to continue buying candy, sodas, and flavored coffee for the benefit of the office. Previous Powers That Be kept us pacified with sugar and caffeine, and now the new guys wanted to take it away.

Bad idea.

Sure, people were complaining about the new security procedures, the missing bonus checks, the miniscule raises, the deluge of paperwork, and all the other weirdness that comes from having your company bought, but they were SCREAMING about the candy. I mean, it was getting bad. We were down to our last ten packets of Hawaiian Hazelnut coffee and just a handful of Hershey's Kisses and Redvines.

*Lacy rollseyes*

But, upon going to wash out my coffee cup this morning, I discovered two full pots of French Vanilla (clearly the office favorite, as that's what we ran out of first), a laundry-sized basket FULL of fresh candy (including mini Twix, which are my WEAKNESS -- DAMN THE MAN!!!), and Sweet Girl from HR wheeling an enormous cart full of all kinds of sodas into the break room.

Balance has been restored. The natives have been pacified. Back to work.

Oh wait. I don't have any work.