Baby Bean is Growing

 BabyFruit Ticker

Sunday, December 26, 2004

A Post-Christmas Song

THE first day after Christmas, my true love and I had a fight, and so I chopped the pear tree down and burned it just for spite! Then with a single cartridge I shot that blasted partridge, my true love gave to me.

The second day after Christmas, I pulled on the old rubber gloves and very gently wrung the neck of both the turtle doves. The third day after Christmas, my mother caught the croup. I had to use the three French hens to make some chicken soup.

The four calling birds were a big mistake for their chatter was obscene. The five golden rings were completely fake and they turned my fingers green!

The sixth day after Christmas, the six laying geese wouldn't lay. I gave the whole darn gaggle to the ASPCA. On the seventh day, what a mess I found -- all seven of the swimming swans had drowned that my true love gave to me.

The eighth day after Christmas, before they could object, I bundled up the:

Eight maids a-milking,
Nine pipers pipint,
Ten ladies dancing,
Eleven lords a-leaping,
Twelve drummers drumming...

(well, I kept ONE of the drummers...)

...and sent them back collect! I wrote my true love, "We are through love!" and I said in so many words, "further more your Christmas gifts were for the..."

Four calling birds,
three french hens,
two turtle doves,

and you can shove that partridge up your pear treeeeeeeeeeeeee!


Anonymous said...

Remind me not to make you mad on Christmas. I had no idea that you could be so dark. Well now I know.

Lacy: Who Needs a Hat To Sing? said...

Who posted that? No, really! I want to know!!! =)