holiday smorgasbord of doom

Current contents of the office kitchen:

(2) Gigantic boxes of See's Candy (seriously, one of those puppies has got to be a five pounder)
(3) miniature loaves of pumpkin bread, sliced
(1) miniature lemon pound cake, sliced
(2) bags of chocolate covered pretzles
(2) huge boxes of Aunt Fanny's Pecan Pralines
(1) enormous tray of various cookies including, but not limited to:
- frosted sugar cookies
- frosted gingerbread cookies
- spritz cookies
- snickerdoodles
- chocolate chip cookies
- peanut butter cookies with Hershey's Kisses in
- unidentifiable brown cookie with frosting
- other unidentifiable brown cookie (possibly chocolate?) with frosting
Various assorted truffles left over from previous box of chocolates

All of this is in addition to the regular tub of Red Vines and the laundry sized basket (seriously) of generic chocolate that are always present in the kitchen.

All I want to do is heat up my lunch, and instead, I find myself facing the holiday smorgasbord of doom.