two poems from childhood

'In the back back garden, Thomasina
Did you recently vociferate a squeal?'
'Oh, I trod up an amphisbaena,
And it bit me on the toe and on the heel.
Yes, it bit me (do you know)
With its tail upon the toe,
While it bit me with its head upon the heel!'

'How excessively distracting and confusing.
Pray what, Thomasina, did you do?'
'Oh, I took the garden scissors I was using
And I snipped it irretrievably in two.
And it split with such a scrunch
That I shall not want my lunch.
And if you had heard the noise no more would you.'

'And where, Thomasina, are the sections
Of the foe that you courageously repressed?'
'Oh, they ran away in opposite directions,
And they vanished in the east and in the west.
And the way they made me squint,
It would melt a heart of flint,
And I think that I will go upstairs and rest.'

(I always thought it was, "In the back back garding Thomas Minna," so, when searching for this poem, I actually typed in "In the back back garden Thomas" first. I had to remove the Thomas to find it. =)



Oh there once was a puffin just the shape of a muffin
And he lived on an island in the deep blue sea
And he ate little fishes that were most delicious
And he had them for supper and he had them for tea.


Now this little puffin, he couldn't play nothin'
For he hadn't anybody to play with at all
So he sat on his isle and he cried for awhile
And he felt very little and he felt very small.


Now these little fishes, they said "If you wishes
You may have us for playmates instead of for tea"
Now they all play together in all kinds of weather
And now the puffin eats pancakes like you and me.